How it all began

I was born with a difficult temperament. My parents recounted stories, from the day I discharged from the hospital as a newborn and throughout my childhood, of my mental health symptoms. We did not have a name for those symptoms, as mental health treatment was not something people did in Northern Michigan back then. But my father’s family had a history of “losing their cool,” and it was accepted as a normal family trait.       

As an adult in my 30s, my father discovered antidepressants and one day took me aside and told me what a difference they had made in his life and that I might want to talk to my doctor about medication. I became defensive. I did not have a mental illness. How dare he suggest it.

The Natural Way

So instead, I began to listen to the so-called experts. Meditate and your mood will stabilize. Exercise and you’ll feel better. Eat heathy. Stop drinking. Regulate your sleep. Take a supplement. And so began some major lifestyle changes. I became vegan. I stopped drinking. I tried to get better sleep. I started exercising and doing triathlons and yoga. I meditated. And no matter how hard I tried, the inner irritability and rage did not go away.

This led to guilt for being a “horrible human being” especially when people told me how they cured their depression or anxiety by diet or exercise or with meditation. What was wrong with me that I could not manage my symptoms? Well, what was wrong with me was that I had clinical depression and anxiety that needed to be medicated.

My Decision

Once I made the decision to talk to my doctor about medication and stick with the medication (yes, this took more than one try because the self-cured people continued to make me feel guilty for taking medication), my mood and anxiety stabilized and I realized that if I had only begun taking medication 15 years earlier when my father first brought it up, I would have been a much more peaceful and happy person. I currently am prescribed two daily medications and a third to take as needed and these have been a godsend.

When I forget to take my medication for a few days and this does happen from time to time, I feel the inner rage rise its ugly head and then I remember that I have missed several doses and begin taking my meds again. In addition to my daily medication, I also manage my mental health by eating a vegan diet, exercising, meditation, yoga, therapy, working a job and having hobbies I love, and maintaining healthy relationships. I believe these factors have reduced the amount of medication I am prescribed but despite all these healthy factors in my life, I still have three prescriptions to keep me stable.

Situation Versus Clinical

So, this said, not everyone who seeks treatment with mental health symptoms gets referred for medication because some mental health problems are situational in nature. For instance, it is a normal process to feel traumatized if assaulted, depressed if there is a loss, or anxious if going through a life change. Sometimes our jobs or relationships cause anxiety or depression. Spiritual growth often causes a period of deep depression and anxiety. Someone who is trained in diagnosing mental health conditions can usually distinguish between a situational factor causing mental health disturbance and a clinical depression or anxiety that requires medication to stabilize symptoms.

The Voice of Shame and Guilt

Despite knowing how to distinguish the difference, I have often seen in my practice, people who are candidates for medication who want to eliminate their mental health symptoms by natural means because of the stigma of taking medication. I share with them that sometimes it is not about a natural cure or big pharma pushing medication, sometimes it is the simple fact that some of us need medication to live happy, peaceful, guilt-free lives.

So please, the next time you tell someone, I cured my depression or anxiety with your fill in the blank cure, take a step back and realize that you did not have a clinical disorder and were likely suffering from situational factors. Please stop guilting and shaming people from seeking the help they need. Living with a mental health diagnosis is difficult enough to manage without an added layer of unnecessary guilt and shame.